I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
