Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
