eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
