I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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