Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
