So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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