me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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