She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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