maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
