I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
