i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This is the high leading the old right now
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize