You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
