I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
