He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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