I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
