All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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