I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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