Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
