More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
