Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
