She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize
