Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dicks are not precious.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
