Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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