i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
