i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
worst night to have a conscience
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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