I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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