when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
