Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
