I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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