Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize