Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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