and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
