Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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