All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize