Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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