No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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