Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize