I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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