I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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