Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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