i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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