I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
