These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
