he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
