Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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