I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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