What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
