i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
