I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I believe in your delicious
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize