i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
