is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
