My hand turned me down
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
