i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
