Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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