so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
