one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
