fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
