this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
