Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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