That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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