dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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