It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
