She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
