Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
