so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
