i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
