Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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