he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
