I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
