is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
