Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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