3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Maybe he injected his testicle?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
