yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
