if you like me you must not know who I am
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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