You're completely useless in the revolution.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
