i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize